Christmas eve

wow, it's Christmas Eve, i can't believe it is finally here. i've seen some small children in the last few days (3,4, 5 years old) and i love to ask them if they are excited for Santa to come. it is true Christmas spirit in the eyes of a child who is nodding their head uncontrollably in excitment. they are wide eyed and look like they could pop any minute in anticipation. one girl told me all about her party at school, how fun it was, etc. life is so exciting through the eyes of a child. their innocence and purity gives me hope. i love it.

tucker has been sick for a few days with an upper respiratory cold. it can be quite stressful on me and jeff. both of us tend to withdraw from each other when he is ill. i think it is our coping mechanisms turning on. I know for myself it makes me feel a little post traumatic stress -ish from our days in the hospital. we don't like going there (who does? unless it is to see a new born baby). the smells, the phones ringing, the nurses, the doctors, the tests, the waiting, the noises, other children crying. very over stimulating and when i am feeling stressed out i can't take much stimulus at all. so when he's sick, we think, "how serious is this? is it just a cold? does he have pneumonia - on and on". the old worrying. we get very little sleep as he requires suctioning, nebulizer treatments, etc. the lack of sleep makes us feel like zombies. but he had a pretty good night last night; although his cough is starting up again. he's on an antibotic (thanks to our neighbor who is a doctor...) - so it is just a matter of getting through it.

i hope this Christmas eve day finds you well and eager for Santa's visit later! i will be unveiling this years family Christmas photo on my blog tomorrow - so stop by if you have time and take a look.