Creating

It is very important to me that i create every day. I find it very calming and relaxing and it gives me purpose. it helps my grief and channels that sadness into something positive. as i quietly mentioned to someone recently, "i sustained a life altering, horrible and traumatic experience. those feelings have to surface somewhere as i still find it difficult to talk about. my friend, Z, likes to call me "prolific", which according to the dictionary means "turning out many products of the mind ". i like that; that sounds like me. to give you insight into myself, i have to tell you that i work very hard at making beautiful things. i am very picky and often redo things several times. not that i want them to be "perfect" but because i don't like to sell things that are not up to my expectations. i'd like to think that i am creating more of an heirloom quality. i want to create things that will sustain over time, not get toss into the donate pile as their appeal wears off. but sometimes i wonder, "where am i going with this" or "should i be making all these things"?, "will they sell"?, etc. not unusual questions for an artist to pose to themselves i suppose. So i found it interesting to read in the letter to the editor from Jenny Doh in the latest issue of Belle Amoire where she was responding to somone commenting on another artist being "lucky". Jenny felt that luck really wasn't revelant about this artist, because this particular artist had an ongoing commitment to make new things. jenny said "when we are hard at work with focus and discipline as we toil at our craft day in and day out... we are preparing ourselves for the arrival of opportunity... indeed, preparing to embrace luck."
inside i felt good after reading that; almost as if she put my feelings into words and helped me see where i am headed.
Opportunity has been showing itself lately and i am trying really hard to put any self doubts aside and make the most of it. i deserve opportunity as much as the next person.