quiet

Woman contemplating in wooden dock photo

tuck has been quite sick. it's been 12 days now. 12 days of coughing, sneezing, suctioning, stress, fear, angst, heat, exhaustion. it's just an upper respiratory thing brought on by seasonal allergies that has gotten out of control. the air quality index around here as been alarming high and he just can not tolerate whatever it is that is outside right now. i use to joke that he was on lock down; but seriously that kid is not going outside until the weather improves. he has no fever, but an uncontrollable cough. try coughing 12 days straight in a row with very little relief. try listening to it as a parent and not be able to stop it. he cannot take any sort of codeine to quell the cough. finally yesterday, as a last result, i opted to put him on steroids since the cough is more inflammatory. today, so far, we have very little coughing. on the downside, the steroids will affect him and give him that "roid rage" as i like to call it. with tuck it will manifest itself through his body tone, which will get tight and rigid.
my friend, kim, is here visiting so i am dividing my time between showing her around, going to flea markets, etc. all at the same time as trying to maintain control of the fearful feelings i have when he is sick. it's very hard to put on a brave face and she was sweet and asked my to stop trying to be so brave. i appreciate that.
today we are going to do some art and we all know how therapeutic that is.