Alot has been going on since I last really posted. Mid Fall I left to head to Florida to visit Dillon and was doing some teaching along the way. I taught in North Carolina at Random Arts, a two day jewelry class and stayed with my friend, Phyllis. We had so much fun and she was a wonderful hostess. Right after I left Phyllis and made my to Georgia to stay the night, I got a text from Jeff that Tucker was quite ill and had been taken to the hospital via ambulance. This was 2 days after hurricane Sandy hit. Everyone had lost power and the coast was a mess. The ER was equally a mess. Utter chaos (according to Jeff since i wasn't there).

I made the immediate decision to cancel the rest of my classes and turn around. It took me 3 days to get back as I had to sort of criss cross around avoiding hard hurricane hit areas, etc. I picked up a generator in Georgia before leaving (as ours was not working well). I also loaded up on fire logs, D batteries and gas cans.  When I got about 2 hours from home, I filled up the gas cans and had to drive with the windows down for the rest of the way. 

The hospital staff (infectious disease) hit Tucker hard with an course of hard hitting antibiotics to battle this unknown bacteria he was fighting. (i say unknown as nothing ever grew in a culture). He continued to  get much better and got to come home the day after we regained power. A few days later, we thought he was acting ill again, so took he back to the ER and they admitted him overnight for observation. By the next day, he was fine again. So i don't know if we were paranoid or what was with that 2nd trip.

Since then I have been battling anxiety attacks. mostly at night, waking me up with a pounding heart and grim thoughts running through my mind. I have this feeling of not being safe for me and Tucker. I'm having horrible dreams about him and the worry is affecting my appetite. Add into the mix, my friend, Michele, being so ill. Since I last posted about Michele, she's been diagnosed with breast cancer (in addition to lymphoma) and is undergoing chemotherapy. In a few months, once chemo is over and the tumor has been reduced, she will undergo a double mastectomy. A lot for me to be worrying about.

I know that I am going through post traumatic stress disorder. It's happened before, only not this harshly. Today, I am going to be doctor to talk about it with him and figure out ways to get a handle on it. 

thanks for listening.